Snark and Pie

2007-06-08T12:40:00.000-05:00

2007-05-31T12:23:00.000-05:00

Ross Doily

A few months ago, my mom ushered me into one of the spare rooms of her house to show me something. She also wanted to tell me something... that she was apparently embarrassed about and needed to tell someone about. I am often the recipient of these lovely... gifts. So, I trudge back there and there's an odd looking doily thing on the vanity stand.

She proceeds to tell me that she had gone into Ross earlier in the week to try on a "cardigan." If anyone knows my mom, it's like pulling teeth to get a story out of her. One with a logical beginning, middle, and end. Sometimes, you'll get parts, but never the whole thing. Maybe this is why I became reference librarian. I'm good at questioning.

So, she had gone to Ross and found this cute sweater. (As another sidenote, my mom is going through teen ware phase. She's small and I guess can handle it, but sometimes, the clothing choices look a little odd.) She tries on the sweater and realizes it's too small or as she put it, resembled a "stuffed sausage." She proceeded to try and get this thing off in every manner possible but couldn't. Instead of calling an attendant, she proceeds to put her clothes back on and walk out the door.

Yep. really.

We laughed and laughed.

2007-05-30T15:18:00.000-05:00

Dork and Pie

I'm such a dork. Yes I am. I've been meaning to update this thing for a few weeks now but forgot that I had set up a google account to access the new blogger. After spending the last 30 minutes trying to figure out what in the hell i had done or what asinine password i had made up, I figured it out. It was the pw I use for everything and the same email address that I have. WTF. Jay-sus. This is getting slightly ridiculous.

Sigh. In the mean time, I've finally joined the rest of the world and set up a myspace account at http://www.myspace.com/dnlibrarian. Yes, it's set to personal - so if you want to see my profile- you have to be my friend. HA! Notice it's DN and not DC. Yep - my name is officially changed. A colleague at work the other day was commenting that it's been throwing her off. Excuse me. It's only slightly throwing me off as well. Everytime I sign anything, I have to do a double take. Who knew that something has easy signing as you name would become one of the hardes things I do in a day. When I signed the marriage license - I started to sign my maiden name and had to scratch it out in lovely thick black ink and write the new one. Seems par for the course for me. Always slightly off.

Since my last post - we got married and went on a fantastic honeymoon to Scotland. It was awesome. I've been slowly sharing pics with family and friends. There's still so much to do post honeymoon - settle into the house, write thank yous, clean, work, the list never stops.

28 is turning out to be a quite a year. Just when I thought the wedding and trip were going to be my retrospective dose for the year, I run into old friends from high school. Thus prompting the myspace page and now part of my life is being sucked away wondering what happened to these people. So, in conclusion, I'm going to my 10 year reunion provided we're still in the country. I doubt anyone reads this thing anymore, but for those of you that know us - you know that Matt was offered an opportunity for us to go to Germany for a year. We should know by the end of the week.

All in all though, life is pretty damn good.

2007-04-16T14:15:00.000-05:00

Five Days...

Until weddin' day. I'm excited. It's going to be great and it's going to be fantastic to see everyone. This time next week, I'll be married and getting ready to go to Scotland for two weeks the next day. I'm not sure life gets any better.

Amala and I had spa day on Sat and it was fan freaking tastic. We were like the pink ladies at Miss Jackson's with our schmancy robes and delicate toes with toe separators. Our faces were gleaming pink and shiny after the facials. That was a little weird...

More news to follow.

Hope everyone is doing okay that I haven't been able to talk to with all the craziness.

This is so cheesy but "What a Wonderful World" could probably sum up right now.

2007-02-20T12:54:00.000-06:00

Weddin' Countdown

So, a colleague told me yesterday that I have approximately 9 weeks until the wedding. It kind of made me gasp. Months always sound better than weeks. But, luckily we're on top o' things. Caterer, flowers, music, honeymoon, outfits, and photography are set. Went in for second dress fitting on Sat and that should be ready this weekend. I love love my dress.

Our kick ass invitations came in yesterday and we'll get those addressed and out the door this weekend. So, wedding stuff is up to speed. I spent Sunday finishing up scraping the wallpaper in the living room and matt installed one of the new hot water heaters. Sometimes I'm amazed at the amount of stuff we've gotten accomplished on top of both working full time jobs. Hasn't made much time for sleeping socializing, but that will change in 9 weeks... hopefully?

2007-02-19T14:11:00.000-06:00

Samson

So I don't write about musicians or songs that much but I love Regina Spektor's Samson. Just poignantly beautiful.

2007-02-16T12:59:00.000-06:00

TGIF

Really. I'm not sure if it's a combination of the cold weather, grey skies, and an ear infection but everyday has been groundhog day. I guess we're always putting out small fires in one way or another whether at home, work, or within our families. But it's always a relief when you can honestly tell yourself that you're doing the best that you can or could. Many people find Spring painful because of all the raw growth and the force of new beginnings no matter how small or large. I've always found winter painful because it forces me to stop and take a moment to reflect. We step foward, we step back, trying to make a comfortable footprint in the moment where we're standing. Some of us keep rocking back and forth, some of us are okay standing and breathing and looking far enough ahead to know that we're going to be just fine.

I'm going to be 28 in a few weeks. I've heard that Saturn returns to me between the ages of 28-30. This is supposedly time where we undergo big changes and take moments to reflect on how far we've come and where we want to go. I can't say I've always bought this astrology component, but explanation or not 28 is happening this way whether I planned it or not. I can say I've haven't had the sense of urgency that I've had my entire life. I've been forcing myself to slow down, take stock, and pay attention to the details whether they be people or thoughts.

I've had several friends give birth in the past two years and it's really been awesome to watch these incredible women become mothers. I met with a really good friend of mine this past Sat with her equally awesome husband. They're going to have a little girl and I'm so excited. Seeing people like them and the people I know starting or that have started families gives me hope.

Thing on Saturn from the web:
Much like Father Time, Saturn implores us to look at the clock (its glyph, after all, is the sickle of Chronos, the God of Time). Is there time for everything we want to do, or are there limits? Those limitations are important to Saturn, and we must learn to manage them. Restrictions are the province of this Planet, as is any form of discipline or delay.

In keeping with the passage of time, Saturn governs old age along with the lessons it teaches us. Learning life's lessons is key to this Planet, in keeping with its role as teacher. The majesty of older age also brings with it a certain sense of tradition, conventionality (our learned patterns of behavior) and wisdom, and Saturn is mindful of these characteristics. This Planet applauds our perseverance and the fact that we've withstood the test of time (yes, time comes up once again). This senior status further brings with it a measure of authority, and Saturn lords over that as well.

Structure, order and the way in which we conduct our affairs are all ruled by this ringed Planet. Contraction and the reining in of assets are also important here. Lastly, Saturn, again in its role as teacher, concerns itself with karma and the lessons which past experiences might bring.

2007-02-12T12:08:00.000-06:00

Hm.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/08/AR2007020802435.html

2007-02-07T11:19:00.000-06:00

Librarians on the front line

A jolt of reality to my day.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/07/books/07libe.html

2007-02-06T09:18:00.000-06:00

Saab Story

I had a Saab in college. It was a metallic powder blue 1981 Saab 900 to be exact. It was my consolation prize after the chevy celebrity got totalled. We got it at this place on 11th st called Fresh Horses for $1200. My dad was totally stoked because it was unique and had a tight gear box. The down side was that it didn't have an air conditioner and later on it started smelling like a gas can, though the mechanic swore to us that there was no reason for the smell. The no A/C was rough and if you live in OK in the summer, it should be illegal to sell a car w/out an A/C. Many a hot summer afternoon was spent driving all the way from TU to Woodland Hills Mall (my crappy college job at Hellmark), with a towel stuck between by back and my blouse/shirt. So many memories in this car, long drives to OKC, papers and sweaters in the back seat (a habit I still haven't kicked), and a trunk that never stayed open on its own. It was always a challenge getting a lot of groceries in.

I talk about this car because I had a flashback yesterday. I was listening to NPR on the way home and they were playing segments from the Abbey Road album. This was one of the only cassettes I carried in my car for some reason. And yes, cassettes, I'm not even that old, it's just that the car only had a cassette player and I didn't want to bother with the discman contraption. Plus, I'm a tortoise when it comes to technology. Anyone that knows me, knows this. I'm an old soul in a young woman's body. I digress. I played this tape over and over until it finally wore out. I remember knowing the exact amount of time I needed to fast forward through a particular song and how Polythene Pam was always slightly mesmerizing. Here Comes the Sun got me through some bad days. Honestly, I can't really remember any other tapes I played. Other than that, it was always NPR and the classical station.

The Saab finally got too expensive to maintain and we took it to the mechanic who gave us $150 for it. The next day I bought my new Focus and have had it ever since. I swear, though, I saw the Saab a few months ago. I coould tell, because all my old TU parking stickers were still crawling up the side. It looks like it's owned by a college student. I giggled, got into my car, and turned up the music.

2007-02-05T16:36:00.000-06:00

I'm in for now.

This is sad. I blog so infrequently, that I already forgot the new password that I set up last week so I could get in. So, I now have yet another one. This is ridiculous. It's like forgetting your housekey and crawling in the damn bathroom window everyday. Argh. I think I'm going to start posting more frequently so I'm not having to write so many emails with updates or feel guilty because I haven't emailed anyone back or sent out the thank you cards yet for the bridal shower. Shame on me.

We have officially finished 3 rooms in the house and I've started the monumental task of scraping the 50 year old wallpaper with paint on top of it ,in the living room. My carpal tunnel has never felt so acute. Oh, Pain, you are a hard sister to love.

Matt has booked the honeymoon to Scotland and, of course, in his super human engineering capacity, has created a most kick ass spread sheet. The invitations are done and will be ready to be sent out in about two weeks. They're totally art deco. I worked with a woman in Canada! it was awesome. We even have vintage 30's kewpie cake toppers.

So, things are bubbling. Crazy, but good and bubbling.

2007-01-16T11:23:00.000-06:00

Sandblasting the Dust off This thing.

I received a comment from an ol' 'berry friend. I guess I didn't realize people were still reading this thing. Plus, things have been painfully busy. Everything's moving along... at warp speed. The weddin' is 3 months away from next week. The house is coming along. Next weekend we'll have the third room done. This weekend we really made headway. What else is one supposed to so when the literal ice storm of the century blows in? i've become an expert in wall prep and sanding. We've discovered I'm not good for spackling since I tend to overdo it and then we have to chip it off rather than sand.

So the ice storm...quite unbelievable really. It's the freakin' tundra outside. It kind of reminds of the Care Bears Frozen forest movie. I seem to remember a evil man that turned everything frozen by a single touch. Also has a Narnia-esque feeling from the pictures of the surrounding counties. I took the long way in this morning and it was kind of freaky once I realized that the tires track ridges were solid ice and I ricocheted back and forth btw tracks. In a nutshell, things are good. Bring it on. 2007, I come.

Survey Thingy Stolen from an old friend's blog:
1.) If you had to choose one vice in exclusion of all others what would it be? laziness without guilt... once in awhile.
2.) If you could change one specific thing about the world what would it be? No more war.
3.) Name the cartoon character you identify with the most. Maggie on the Simpsons
4.) If you could live one day in your life over again which one would it be? My engagement. One of the best days of my life so far.
5.) If you could go back in history and spend a day with one person who would it be? My grandpa.
6.) What is the one thing you lost, sold or threw away that you wish you could have back? My dvd/vcr combo. It was stolen right out of my apt. I look at it as a sign that perhaps it wasn't mine to begin with and Karma got it... but damn it... it was really nice. Oh. my subscription to the Sunday New York Times. I can't justify the expense right now and I have no time to read it. Can't wait for April.
7.) What is your one most important contribution to this world?So far?
8.) What is your one hidden talent that nearly no one knows about?
9.) What is your most cherished possession? Philosophically - Life. Literally - the medals I wear everyday and my ring.
10.) What one person influenced your life the most when growing up? Apparently, my mom.
11.) What one word describes you better than any other? Non sequitur

2006-10-02T15:35:00.000-05:00

A personal library is an X-ray of the owner's soul.

http://chronicle.com/temp/email2.php?id=BbnjmnBwjkWnBrTGX9TwykrSVrmtqr9Q

In other news, we finished painting the dining room and pulled up the carpet. Awesome.

2006-09-28T09:55:00.000-05:00

MoMB

Sue told me about this site:
http://momb.socio-kybernetics.net/hot-100

It's the coolest ever. AND... the the Nobel site has a games feature.
http://nobelprize.org/educational_games/

2006-09-26T07:56:00.000-05:00

Autumn

It's officially Fall as of the weekend. It's cooler. Makes me want to get down on my knees in the mornings. Maybe the opening of Autumn is the physical manifestation of grace.

2006-08-29T10:45:00.000-05:00

Waking Up

I woke up this morning to the quiet of the house. The fans were the only thing I could hear. It’s finally in the mid 60’s this morning. I’m almost cold and I can feel Fall trying to eek its way into this damn state.

I’ve been feeling mentally stuck the past few days. It’s been a combination of working on a crazy busy schedule and now having some time get caught up. But I really don’t have that much time.

I’ve started turning on NPR on the clock radio before I fully wake. I’ll usually be half asleep to ease myself into the world of the moment. Today’s headlines were mainly the one year anniversary of Katrina and John Karr has been found not guilty in the Jon Benet case, but he’s still a sick bastard.

I slowly wake up, get dressed and wander into the family room where the Today show is on. Laura Bush is talking about her foundation which is currently providing money for school libraries in the Katrina affected areas. Say what you will about her husband, but she’s good in my books.

I’m taken back to the world of libraries. It’s coming up on a year since I left the library world. I still feel like I’m still temporarily on vacation from that world. This job still feels like a new, uncertain world everyday. Actually, everything is still a new world. I was accused on Saturday by an old friend from college of “putting up a white picket fence and being busy living the American dream.” Yeah, so what about it? I love it.

“Love’s way of dealing with us is different from conscience’s way. Conscience commands; love inspires. What we do out of love, we do because we want to do it. Love is, indeed, one kind of desire; but it is a kind that takes us out of ourselves and carries us beyond ourselves, in contrast to the kind that is self-seeking—a kind that includes the desire for the “extinguishedness” of Nirvana. Love is freedom; conscience is constraint; yet, in two points, our relation to love is the same as our relation to conscience. We are free to reject love’s appeal, as we are free to reject conscience’s command; yet love, like conscience, cannot be rebuffed with impunity. Rebuffed, love will continue to importune us; and this for the reason for which a violated conscience does. Love’s authority, like conscience’s, is absolute. Like conscience, too, love needs no authentication or validation by any authority outside itself. Speculations about love’s credentials, or lack of credentials, cannot either enhance or diminish love’s absoluteness.”
A.J. (Arnold Joseph) Toynbee (1889–1975), British historian. Experiences, pt. 1, ch. 9, Oxford University Press (1969).

I went to a Boy Scout Court of Honor last night and watched these adolescent boys go up to accept merit badges in things like wood carving. Mile long swims, 50 miles hikes, pretty cool stuff. I’m not even sure if BSA is “cool” anymore but man they do some great stuff. I couldn’t help but think back to some of the scouts I knew back in high school. They were always good kids.

I don’t miss adolescence for one moment. As I was driving in to work, I saw some kids waiting for their bus. I remember waiting in Ms. Merrill’s driveway for the bus. I usually sat alone or with Matt Garrison. I wonder what happened to him. I used to dread getting to school especially in 6th grade. I had only lived in the country for a year so was still acclimating.

In 6th grade, gym was my first hour. I hated suiting up. Middle school gym teachers always have a way of making youth feel like small annoying animals. And the smell of school. Who can ever get that out of their heads?. Edison always smelled like a combination of gym floor, disinfectant, and grease. The only smell I really liked was the band/orchestra room. By the time the orchestra was done, it smelled like rosin dust and wood.

Thanks for taking that random meandering retrospective hour with me. I feel better.

2006-08-28T14:26:00.000-05:00

Honk if you love Jesus and Bad Weddin' Shows

My headphones haven't worked for days and it was killing me. So on my lunch I went to Best Buy which is close enough to be dangerous. Got these kick ass $20 Sony headphones. I'm happy now, all snug in my cube taking a break to write this short blurb. On my way back from Best Buy, there was a car in front of me with "Honk if you love jesus." No one was honking. It felt strangely confrontational. I wanted to pass but couldn't get over because I was almost at the turning I needed. I hate that.

Yesterday I took Marie and Amy to the Tulsa Weddin' Show. It was awful. I never want to go to anything like that EVER again. It was a sea of crazed wild eyed spray- tanned brides and their spongy mothers stuffing their gobs with free samples of food and cake. Amy and Marie claim to have spotted a groom in the corner that was desperately shoving noodles into his mouth with his hands. Now, that's stress eating.

Other highlights:
The chocolate fountain - this is a bacterial cesspool. Gross. Nothing like recirculated warm chocolate that everyone and their small child's grubby hands have been dipping into.

The Fashion Show - poor high school girls and boys struggling across the "runway." I almost felt sorry for them in the caketoppers from what only could be from a mall-like bridal factory for which I will not mention their ev-eel name.

I realize this is a scathing post, but I'm not going to apologize if I've offended anyone.

On and a not so scathing note at all, Matt changed my brake shoes and rotors this weekend. That's love. I don't think there's anything that man can't do =). He's so cool, not to mention still pretty hot even when he has poison ivy...

Listening to Jem right now.

Speaking of... does anyone remember Jem and the Rockers? I am a child of the eighties.

2006-08-14T14:16:00.000-05:00

Robbed

Someone broke into my apt yesterday afternoon while Matt and I were meeting with the priest for God's sake. Anyway, i'm okay, I wasn't there when it happened, another Hail Mary. They stole my dvd/vcr combo and must have been startled by something, so ran out of time and got the hell out of dodge. I'm so creeped out though because they went through my desk and my dresser. They didn't take any financial stuff, I mean I had bank statements out and all.

So I bought some door alarms and light timers today since I'm hardly there anymore. I've been reading some stuff online today about how a burglar usually only spends an average of 6 minutes doing the actual deed. I will also say that this was not a forced entry. My landlords left the main back door open (which is always kept locked) while they were down in the basement. For some reason I had left my own back door unlocked and that's how they got in. What also creeps me out is my landlords said they heard someone walking around in my apartment during that time and thought it was weird becuase they hadn't seen my car.

The lesson is to lock all your doors and windows and invest in a stun gun or something.

2006-08-08T12:24:00.000-05:00

I Heart iTunes

Let me start off with...Okay, I'm way behind on music and technology latey. But, I finally broke down and got an iTunes account. The floodgates have been released. I could almost cry at how happy I am with this. I'm definitely going to have break down and get an iPod or some schmancy phone.

God, I feel like I've been starving and I finally get to eat. Send me what music you're obsessed with, rock out to, classics, love to hate, work out, you name it and I'll check it out.

Sigh. Content.

2006-08-03T23:36:00.000-05:00

Eternal Sunshine

This is late for me. I'm 27 going on 80 in the realm of bedtime. I like to think that I have so much going on in my days that I am just that tuckered out at the end of the day. The truth is that I have never been able to stay up much past midnight. I'm really bad with movies too. I actually fell asleep during the last Batman and the 2nd Harry Potter. I prefer to blame it on temporary narcolepsy and the hypnotic smell of stale popcorn and adolescence in the back row. I'm notorious for falling asleep in ANY movie that starts after 10.

Matt and I are nicely moving along with the house and we threw an awesome housewarming/engagement party last week. It's been really to good to catch up with everyone and see what everyone's doing. It kind of makes me sad that people only really get to catch up with each other for weddings, births, and funerals. Did I also mention that I'm crazy about the groom and deliriously happy and exhausted at the same time. He's pretty wonderful.

I spoke to one of my favorite friends this evening. We don't get to talk very much, but when we do it's easy to start up right where we left off. You know you're good buds with someone when you can do that.

It's August and we're in our 3rd week of triple digits. The low at night has been the nineties. It's ridiculous. Really.

So, that's my post for tonight.

Thought for the evening: The past never really goes away. It's a good thing when you feel the possibility of it biting you in the ass and you realize that's all it is and all it ever was. Possibility should not always necessarily mean likely probability. You know you've learned your lessons when you can comfortably look back and smile.

Yeah. Cryptic, I know. This post is to me really. Epiphanies are a great thing.

2006-06-26T14:54:00.000-05:00

Moving

So we moved Matt in this weekend from his apt to the new house. Even people with the least stuff seem like they have a ton of a stuff when it comes time for moving. However, we did find an hour of time to go to Bluebell's Taste Of Summer all you can eat ice cream extravaganza for $4 a person. Ah, only in Oklahoma can you go to an all you eat dairy festival blitz and watch bad little kid karaoke on the Radio Disney Stage. It clogs my arteries and ears well.

Here's to several months of paintin' and yard workin'!

Marie's back for the summer. Yay!

2006-06-20T08:14:00.000-05:00

News

So, trip to Seattle was fun. Matt made it off the mountains okay and we got engaged! Possibly more later, or definitely more to friends and family.

2006-06-06T21:19:00.000-05:00

Say

Hello me. It's been eons since I've written in this thing. The past few months it felt like a chore which means this is the slow descent to blogger grave. Seems appropriate on 6/6/06. Like most everything iny life, if I'm uncomfortable with confrontation it ends up with a slow painful death. Not that I'm interested in a confrontation with myself or my blog for that matter, but you get what I'm saying. But for some reason, burying this blog today isn't going to happen. Nope, can't do it quite yet.

It' s become sort of a self check, I'm not sure on what or if it pays any particular value anymore. It's been so long that I've written that I doubt anyone checks in anymore, which is freeing.

Life's been really good to me this year. So much so, that some days I'm not sure if I even deserve it. I've met the love of my life who has one of the kinder, nobler hearts in the world. Yeah I know (cough) feel free to grab the barf bag. I have a kick ass job, which was only semi-kick ass the past few months but is over all great and I work with good people. Family is good and the cat finally seems to be settling.

I found some of my diaries the other day from 5th grade and then some from high school. God, now I understand why high schoolers are so annoying. I could barely stand myself then, I can barely stand to read about myself then now. Truly cringe worthy. I know at one point, I thought some of that stuff was the work of a budding genius. Sheesh.

I'm off to Seattle this coming Sunday to meet my sweetheart where we first met. He left on Friday to climb a mountain up there.

Actually the day I leave will have been exactly a year since we drove back together. Kinda weird, but cool.

Nothing really new. I've discovered that when my life is going well, it's really not that interesting to anyone else. People want and thrive on drama when it's not about them.

I could make up drama, but why bother. Seems like there's enough going on in the world.

On a random note, if anyone hasn't seen it yet, go see the "Notorious Betty Paige." So good.

2006-04-21T11:35:00.000-05:00

Priceless

So I hooked up my mom to the internet yesterday. Here's the first email I received today. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Notice how long the subject line is.

From: MOM [mailto:mom@sbcglobal.net] Sent: Friday, April 21, 2006 10:11 AMTo: Diamala Subject: Thank so much for your help. I went to walmart yesterday, bought some plastic containers

to put my junks in them.I am getting ready to go the library to pick up a calendar to enroll in internet classes.Iam ona roll.

2006-04-05T13:58:00.000-05:00

Webi-what?

Today the word "webinar" was brought to my attention. Webinar according to Webopedia (jay-sus) is Short for Web-based seminar, a presentation, lecture, workshop or seminar that is transmitted over the Web.
I normally don't have problems with words. In fact, I love new words. This word, however, really disturbs me. It seems obscene... a bastardization.

Why did I bother to major in what I now consider is the dead English language?

In other news, I got a $154 speeding ticket yesterday while driving with a tag that expired 3 days ago.

2006-03-15T13:42:00.000-06:00

Thought for the Day

“First Amendment freedoms are most in danger when the government seeks to control thought or to justify its laws for that impermissible end. The right to think is the beginning of freedom, and speech must be protected from the government because speech is the beginning of thought.”—Supreme Court Justice Anthony M. Kennedy, Ashcroft V. Free Speech Coalition (00-795) 198 F.3d 1083, affirmed.

2006-03-10T13:32:00.000-06:00

Stupid HB 2158

I rarely get political on this blog but this is ridiculous and if you live in Oklahoma, I urge to write to your representative to oppose this bill.
The following is an email and good explanation from my old boss:

"Proposed Oklahoma House Bill 2158 requires the segregation of library materials for children and young adults which have homosexual or sexually explicit content. It prohibits any person under age 18 from borrowing these materials. Non-compliance forces a public library to close its doors.

The existing law is adequate to protect all of the library’s readers. Sexually explicit material is defined as obscenity and state law prohibits distribution of obscene material to any person. The Tulsa City-County Library system does not have or distribute such material to any reader and especially not to children. The Tulsa system is in compliance with existing state law.

The Tulsa City-County Library Commission voted on Feb. 16 to “adamantly oppose” HB 2158 as part of its annual legislative plan. The proposal is overly broad and unnecessarily punitive in that it might require libraries to close for even an unintended or accidental violation.

William C. Kellough, chairman of the TCCL Commission, released the following statement:

“The public library distributes books and other media which are broadly representative of human thought. In a diverse, pluralistic democracy not everyone will believe or like what they read. Library materials are representative of all social, political, religious and cultural points of views. Homosexuality is a reality. What would prevent other topics of reality from becoming off limits to young people who are free citizens entitled to free exercise of speech and thought?”

Free access to the books, ideas, resources and information in our libraries is imperative for education, employment, enjoyment, and self-government. We feel HB 2158 is the first step toward restricting the rights of our citizens to free and open access of materials.

I encourage you to write letters to your representative in opposition of this bill. To find the name and contact information of your Representative in the Oklahoma Legislature go to http://www.capitolconnect.com/oklahoma/default.aspx and type in your address. Your State Representative will be the last one listed."

And... here is something to think about from ol' George Orwell:

“Outside, even through the shut window pane, the world looked cold. Down in the street little eddies of wind were whirling dust and torn paper into spirals, and though the sun was shining and the sky a harsh blue, there seemed to be no color in anything except the posters that were plastered everywhere. The black-mustachio'd face gazed down from every commanding corner. There was one on the house front immediately opposite. BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU, the caption said, while the dark eyes looked deep into Winston's own. Down at street level another poster, torn at one corner, flapped fitfully in the wind, alternately covering and uncovering the single word INGSOC. In the far distance a helicopter skimmed down between the roofs, hovered for an instant like a bluebottle, and darted away again with a curving flight. It was the Police Patrol, snooping into people's windows. The patrols did not matter, however. Only the Thought Police mattered.”—George Orwell, 1984

2006-03-09T13:59:00.000-06:00

It Just Is

There are those days when I feel either really human or hyper sensitive. Today is one of those days. I can’t just explain it. The universe is hanging by a thread as my brain feels like today. Everything is going so well that I’m waiting for that proverbial bottom to fall out…again. There’s something quite different this time. I trust myself and the person I’m with. It’s euphoric but it’s still frightening. How does one know when it’s okay to let the guard down and go with it. Maybe that’s called perfection… complacence… when we get that comfortable… it gets boring. I was reading an article last week that talked about a “new theory” that human beings need chaos and uncertainty to fully function. It’s not in our nature to be perfectly happy.

Maybe I should just look ahead and quit worrying. It’s the worrying that will beat us down and sabotage that happiness that does exist for the moment… and what a blissful moment it is.

2006-02-16T15:31:00.000-06:00

FTL

In my new job I have becoming acquainted with the various terminology that my fellow coworkers use. Note:

FTL - for the love
PFS - pretty fucking stupid
NSM - not so much
'Berry- the liberry or library

Email that I received today from one of my beloved colleagues:
"I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to read through the Tulsa World today, but I found something that you might want to mention in your blog- The prosthetic leg of a 16 yr old girl from Cal was stolen (for a 2nd time!!!!) Who in the Hell steals a fake leg? Did it fit someone else they knew? I can’t imagine there’s a great black market out there for artificial limbs! FTL! Now that just PFS!!!"

On a sidenote:
When I was still working at the 'berry, we had a man call looking for prosthetic limbs on the black market. Used prosthetic limbs are actually illegal. Just sayin.'

On another note, there's a Reasor's near where we work. Today we got out. It was like monkeys gone wild. You'd think we'd never been in a grocery store. MB even bought strawberries and some really nasty coke product called Vault. Hell, it looked cheap. Green and "calorie free." Wrong, I tells ya.

K.'

2006-02-07T12:45:00.000-06:00

America Sleeps Tonight

Yeah, so people are worried about the record sales and prescriptions of sleeping pills for Americans. For a country that loves pharmaceutical profits, on the go living, and the mantra "better living through chemistry" should this be a surprise? Man... the press can be annoying.

Maybe I need some sleep.

2006-02-03T16:52:00.000-06:00

Pshaw.

I'm getting heinous at keeping this thing up. This new job feels like a job. I actually only use my work email for work, I eat at my desk most days and actually find myself pondering work problems on the way home.

AND I've started watching the Office and I get it... It's kind of sad really.

I went back to the liberry to visit last night with all my old buds and it was really awesome. However, I really don't miss working there other than the people that I was with.

I do kind of miss the crazy people and the stories. Now I work in a place with a coded lock. Weird.

I'm going skiing in a few weeks and Marie has repeatedly told me to remember "pizza" and "French fry." I'm intrigued. Knowing my limits, I will be staying on the bunny slopes and way over bundled like the little kid on the Christmas Story movie where he couldn't move his arms and legs. Come on... you watch it very year on TNT!

Amala keeps shaking her head and saying... " Doesn't he know you don't go outside."

Matt has made sure that I ordered all the right long underwear, socks, and stuff. He's so sweet.

I'm currently kind of sick and my head is full of snot so I think I'm going to call it a day.

And... Christina.. if you're reading this... where the hell have you been? Call me or email me soon!

2005-12-16T13:13:00.000-06:00

An Actual Post.

It has been way too long since I updated this thing. Every once in awhile I’ve been visiting it. I start to write and immediately press the delete button. I’m thinking in the next few weeks I’m moving this thing to start a fresh chapter. This whole year has been a fresh chapter, I might as well bite the bullet and move the damn blog as well.

As many of you know I started a new job about 6 weeks ago and have been holding on to my hat since then. The people I work with are awesome (I really mean that… even if they do read this) and the work is completely different from the liberry. In other words, I like it. Not that I didn’t like the liberry, I miss my coworkers, but it was time to move on.

Though I still operate in the non profit realm, it definitely feels corporate. I now reside in a cube which currently has no walls. They’re telling us that we will eventually get them but I’ll believe it when I see it. For now a few small strips of masking tape mark my boundaries.

Highlights:
1) No smelly people
2) No mumblers that sound like they have marbles stuffed in their gobs
3) No products of hairy goat love (as far as I know… I’m sure that’s debatable)
4) No smelly people
5) No sitting in high chairs
6) No starers
7) No need for a full body condom
8) No smelly people
9) No encounters in the bathroom where people are washing their hair OR under their arms
10)No need yet to call 911 for frequent seizures and strokes
11) No pastel paint on the walls

I’ll get into the other stuff next week after the “holiday party.” One of my fellow co workers put it quite astutely as some “weird ritualistic practice” that the workforce in America feels compelled to do. Kinda like monkeys.

Hope everyone is having a good “holiday.”
I’ll try and have a better recap next week. Oh, I’m officially done with grad school. Whoo-ah.

2005-10-31T19:35:00.000-06:00

I Can Die Now or Leave My Current Job

With this knowledge.
I kid you not, someone just called and legitimately asked how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop. I, of course, allowed a long pause before asking if this really was the information he so desperately needed. He said yes. I said "Alrighty then." I now share this with all, maybe, 5 of you esteemed readers.

Happy Halloween. Eat some candy for me.

Oh and in case you were wondering about how often telephone numbers occurred in songs, visit here. Another question from tonight.

Ah... and I start a new job next week. I think it's time already.

2005-10-28T08:55:00.000-05:00

TGIF

Please, please, please listen to this with sound. Heehee.

http://www.msn.americangreetings.com/view.pd?i=382219626&m=1652&rr=y&so

2005-10-20T19:19:00.000-05:00

I Wonder

There's a man that comes to our floor everyday. He comes in the morning and stays until 5 or 6. He's always well dressed in a business suit almost like he is on his way to work and just ended up here. He's always polite and pleasant... never bothers anyone. He greets me every time I walk by him. I often wonder what his story is. Has he been unemployed for some time and doesn't have the heart to tell his family? Is he unemployable? Is this the place that makes him get out bed to endure another day of living to be among the living? Is this just a place of respite or does he simply like to people watch? I'm not sure. There are so many stories that walk by here in a day. You can't help but wonder.

2005-10-18T14:34:00.000-05:00

Hey Mister,I.Q. Don't Mean Squat.

So a guy walks in today wanting to use the computer to access his yahoo email. He goes on to say that he knows nothing about computers and he's generally impatient. Okay. I ask him if he has a username and password. He says yes, I say okay then, let's go over and get you signed in. We go to the login screen where it asks for his first name, last name, and card number. I tell him to fill it in. He looks at me and says "I have an IQ of 125, I think I can figure that out." Okay, I tell him. We get in and Mr. IQ 125 is helpless again at typing in the URL. At this point I'm wondering how he even got signed up for an email.
Oh wait he has a 125 IQ.
Sigh.

2005-10-12T10:44:00.000-05:00

Swaying

They say life can bite you in the ass when you least expect it. Circumstances happen that are beyond control every minute of the day. When is it time to move on or stay? Just when you have everything figured out, of course it's not. I watched a class of 8th graders come in for a class project yesterday and remembered what is what like to be at that age. I had big ideas of being a doctor with Doctors Without Borders, after finishing a stint with Peace Corps. College was going to be at Wellesely or Vanderbilt. Medical School was going to be at the Univ of Michigan. Some of us dare to dream when we're that age, always knowing things will get better. We're called quiet, nerdy, and "precocious." High school is not the best time of our lives, who the hell wants it to be anyway? If high school was the best time of your life, well, it's sad really.

My life took a different turn from those 8th grade dreams (mostly from a fear of blood), but I think things are meant to be the way they are. I'm ready to move on as this entire year has seemed to carry that theme with it. It's easy to get caught in the fear and anxiety of making new steps or finding the jumping point. At that point, you need to hold your breath and dive. You'll be surprised at the cushion that awaits. It has the potential to be the best move you ever made. An awesome teacher told me my senior year that anxiety is the ultimate fear.

2005-10-05T14:30:00.000-05:00

Keillor's Law

2005-09-30T11:09:00.000-05:00

In light of Fannie Pie

Your Hidden Talent

You're super sensitive and easily able to understand situations.
You tend to solve complex problems in a flash, without needing a lot of facts.
Decision making is easy for you. You have killer intuition.
The right path is always clear, and you're a bit of a visionary.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

2005-09-30T11:02:00.000-05:00

"Words, Words, Words! I'm so sick of words!" - Okay, not really but...

This is cool.

2005-09-20T11:01:00.000-05:00

Raised Eyebrow

Electricity and librarians.

2005-09-19T19:26:00.000-05:00

The times, they are a changin'.

My horoscope said that September would be a packed month, but so does every monthly horoscope. I think I'm approaching numb. Today, I found out that my dad got married two weeks ago in Memphis to his girlfriend of three years. My parents divorce had gone through a week before. I found out about this marriage from my parents financial advisor. He swore her to secrecy not to tell me. I'm supposed to see him tomorrow evening. I have not seen him since July. There is a slight tension to say the least. How does one treat this kind of knowledge.

I guess these are times when all you can do is laugh and try to live in some sort of grace... or get really angry about something that was inevitable. Or you wonder how you got to be so unapproachable that your own father could not tell you that he got married. It's weird. I don't even have the capacity to whine or bitch about it... because, frankly, there are a lot more serious things in the world to worry about right now. But then again, perspective does a lot to the mind's eye.

I sniffed the beginnings of Fall on Sat and that put me in a great mood. I slipped open my bathroom window early in the morning and could smell that windy, damp, leafy smell. I can't wait to drink hot coffee and feel like it is, indeed, appropriate. Cardigans and scarves are seductively beckoning me from the closet, as is snuggling with the cat and not breaking out in a sweat.

I miss Marie too. Ah, the times are changing and moving deep.

2005-09-13T11:35:00.000-05:00

I Didn't Think of that, Lady.

Conversation with Patron on the phone:

Me: ____ Library. This is D, can how may I help you?
P: Yeah, I'm watchin' this woman on tv right now. She's black and has long hair. Her story is so sad. I want to help her.
Me: Are you watching the news?
P: Yeah.
Me: Do you know what channel?
P: Yeah.
Me: Well... this is only a suggestion, but since I'm not in front of a tv right now and not watching the same exact thing it's hard for me to know who this woman is. Why don't you call the news station?
P: Oh... wow.... thanks... I didn't think of that, lady.
(Click)

2005-09-09T15:09:00.000-05:00

Slow Day

I have been endlessly amusing myself with www.bacontarian.com this past hour and have squealed in delight. It even got its own linkage under my links.

2005-09-08T19:32:00.000-05:00

Nuns and Starbucks

Amala and I working our night tonight. On Thurs nights we usually traverse somewhere not here as in anywhere close to the liberry. Lately, it's been the Wild Fork. They have good food and we're still paying lunch prices. So, after a particularly delectable dinner we headed to Starbucks. This has also become our guilty pleasure on Thursdays. I'm sure I'm breaking every rule on my philosophical palate, but I gotta save gas like the rest of the world and I like my sweet treat. There we were standing around in Starbucks, we both do a double take at the window, and right in front of us were about 20 nuns in habits. In habits. Yeah, Amala turns to me kind of sternly and states, "When they come in, no snarky comments and avoid eye contact." Yeah, I had to be warned. Just sayin.' I feel like I need to go repent now. There is something surreal about nuns in a Starbucks. Amen.

2005-09-07T09:23:00.000-05:00

Sigh.

Marie leaves on Monday to sunny CA. I'm not quite sure what to say or how to articulate this fact. Except that it is. Labor day weekend consisted of random hours leisurely spending time with friends, attending my first official Catholic mass, reading the paper, watching Jane Austen movies with Matt, and traversing Chandler Park and the zoo. I managed to sustain 14 chigger bites and a nasty bruise on my knee from falling up the stairs. My God. I know I don't do well on the outside, but this is friggin' ridiculous.

I also can't help but watch the hurricane coverage, when I'm sitting down or before I go to bed. Last night they touched on all the pets that were left behind. I found myself sobbing when they were showing these beautiful animals just hanging on to trees or staying by their owner's houses. Anyway, the organizations they mentioned to help were here and here.

2005-08-31T12:36:00.000-05:00

Because we share the human condition.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/30/national/hurricane-resources.html

2005-08-29T16:19:00.000-05:00

It's 4:20

So, every once in awhile, I get these fwd things and I admit I do read them. So, I figured today, what the hay. I'm brain dead from working the desk all day and obsessively following the hurricane courage. I need a break. We all need a break.

1. What time is it? Time to go home.
> 2. Your name: Diama
> 3. Nickname: DC, Mt. D (don't ask)
> 4. Pierced ears: Yes.
> 5. What is the most recent movie you've seen in the
> theater? March of the Penguins.
> 6. Eye color: Blue-ish
> 7. Place of birth: Far far away. Across an ocean.
> 8. Favorite food: Good food.
> 9. Ever been to Africa: Yes.
> 10. Ever been toilet papering: Yes.
> 11. Love someone so much it made you cry: Yes
> 12. Been in a car accident: Twice.
> 13. Croutons or bacon bits: Croutons. Homemade with olive oil, rosemary, and kosher salt.
> 14. Favorite day of the week: Sunday. I get to sleep in with my favorite person, besides the cat.
> 15. Favorite restaurants: The Palace and Thai Siam.
> 16. Favorite flower: Gerbera daisies.
> 17. Favorite sports to watch: Yeah right. Does ice skating count?
> 18. Favorite drink: For the moment... the starbucks mint chocolate chip frappuccino. I know. I pay my penance by being in public service, so lay off.
> 19.Favorite ice cream: Mint chocolate chip.
> 20. Disney or Warner Brothers: Warner?
> 21. Favorite fast food restaurant: Wenner's (Wendy's)the 99 cents menu!
> 22. What color is your bedroom carpet: Hardwood floors.
> 23. How many times you failed your driver's test: Never.
> 24. Before this one, from whom did you get your last
e-mail: Marie.
> 25. Which store would you choose to max out your
credit card: I want to get rid of my credit card.
> 26. What do you do most often when you are bored: Read, knit, obsess over my life.
> 27. Bedtime: I'm too young to admit how much of an old woman I've become when it comes to bedtime.
> 28. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest:
> 29: Who is the person you sent this to that is least
likely to respond:
> 30: Who are you the most curious about their
responses to this questionnaire:
I doubt anyone really cares.
> 31. Favorite TV shows: Nova, Gilmore Girls, Grey's Anatomy, Six Feet Under
> 32. Last person you went to dinner with: Matt
> 33. Ford or Chevy: Ford of course.
> 34. What are you listening to right now: NPR news on my computer.
> 35. What is your favorite color: The sky.
> 36. How many tattoos do you have: one.
> 37. How many pets do you have: a cat.
38. Which came first, the chicken or the egg:
39. How many people you are sending this e-mail:
40. Who is your favorite singer? Billie Holiday

2005-08-27T12:10:00.000-05:00

Curiouser and Curiouser

Yeah, yeah. It's a slow day at the liberry in case you're wondering why I have such delightfully weird stuff on here today.

2005-08-27T10:30:00.000-05:00

Tyler Durden says:

"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."

2005-08-27T10:20:00.000-05:00

Holy Cow, batgirl!

Wow.

2005-08-25T17:57:00.000-05:00

Something Worth Watching

I rarely watch television these days after my last bloated bout of bad tv that consisted of lifetime, MTV, and E! in one night. I now have honed it down to Gilmore Girls and documentaries. However, this morning I was pleasantly surprised by VH-1 doing an AIDS/HIV documentary called Tracking the Monster. India Arie and and Ashley Judd trek to Kenya and Madagscar and really bring this stuff to the light. It really pulls you out of your own selfish existence and forced me to confront a problem that really does lay at our doorstep. I'm not meaning this to be a polemic, I'm just saying I was moved and it's worth a look.

2005-08-23T13:35:00.000-05:00

Good Days and Yoga Stories

It's been a good day around here. Parents will be officially done with divorce as of 4pm. That is a promise. I got a promotion today and am officially a bona fide "liberrian!" So yeah. I'm pretty happy about that.

I did two days of yoga over the weekend and man I can feel it. Although, on Sunday I went to this class called Sacred Movement which I think has been the most athletic yet. However, the first half hour was taken up by purification and yogic breathing which was fine and all, but there was this one part where we had to inhale to "the top of our lungs" and then retract our "anal sphincters like a butterfly." Yeah. I know. At this point I could not look over at Marie for fear that we would fall out of lotus pose (with already asleep legs) and start howling with laughter (not unlike monkeys that throw poo at each other).
As Amala so aptly put it as I told her about it over the phone "There isn't anything graceful or butterfly like when it comes to your ass." Yes. Thank you.
Have a nice day kids!

2005-08-19T16:23:00.000-05:00

Literature Abuser?... or I should be doing other things... or a friend I used to know

Are You a Literature Abuser? Take this test and find out! How many of these apply to you?

- I have read fiction when I was depressed, or to cheer myself up.
- I have gone on reading binges of an entire book or more in a day.
- I read rapidly, often 'gulping' chapters.
- I have sometimes read early in the morning or before work.
- I have hidden books in different places to sneak a chapter without being seen.
- Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to read novels.
- Sometimes I re-write film or television dialog as the characters speak.
- I am unable to enjoy myself with others unless there is a book nearby.
- At a party, I will often slip off unnoticed to read.
- Reading has made me seek haunts and companions which I would otherwise avoid.
- I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I have finished a novel.
- I have spent money meant for necessities on books instead.
- I have attempted to check out more library books than permitted.
- Most of my friends are heavy fiction readers.
- I have sometimes passed out from a night of heavy reading.
- I have suffered 'blackouts' or memory loss from a bout of reading.
- I have wept, become angry or irrational because of something I read.
- I have sometimes wished I did not read so much.
- Sometimes I think my reading is out of control.

If you answered 'yes' to four or more of these questions, you may be a literature abuser. Affirmative responses to seven or more indicates a serious problem.

Once a relatively rare disorder, Literature Abuse, or LA, has risen to new levels due to the accessibility of higher education and increased college enrollment since the end of the Second World War. The number of literature abusers is currently at record levels.

Social Costs Of Literary Abuse
Abusers become withdrawn, uninterested in society or normal relationships. They fantasize, creating alternative worlds to occupy,to the neglect of friends and family. In severe cases they develop badposture from reading in awkward positions or carrying heavy book bags. In the worst instances, they become cranky reference librarians in small towns.

Excessive reading during pregnancy is perhaps the number one cause of moral deformity among the children of English professors, teachers ofEnglish and creative writing. Known as Fetal Fiction Syndrome, thisdisease also leaves its victims prone to a lifetime of nearsightedness, daydreaming and emotional instability.

Heredity
Recent Harvard studies have established that heredity plays a considerable role in determining whether a person will become an abuser of literature. Most abusers have at least one parent who abusedliterature, often beginning at an early age and progressing into adulthood. Many spouses of an abuser become abusers themselves.

Other Predisposing Factors
Fathers or mothers who are English teachers, professors, or heavyfiction readers; parents who do not encourage children to play games,participate in healthy sports, or watch television in the evening.

Prevention
Pre-marital screening and counseling, referral to adoption agencies in order to break the chain of abuse. English teachers in particular should seek partners active in other fields. Children should be encouraged to seek physical activity and to avoid isolation and morbid introspection.

Decline And Fall: The English Major
Within the sordid world of literature abuse, the lowest circle belongsto those sufferers who have thrown their lives and hopes away to study literature in our colleges. Parents should look for signs that theirchildren are taking the wrong path -- don't expect your teenager toapproach you and say, "I can't stop reading Spenser." By the time you visit her dorm room and find the secret stash of the Paris Review, it may already be too late.

What to do if you suspect your child is becoming an English major:
- Talk to your child in a loving way. Show your concern. Let her know you won't abandon her -- but that you aren't spending a hundred grandto put her through Stanford so she can clerk at Waldenbooks, either.But remember that she may not be able to make a decision without help; perhaps she has just finished Madame Bovary and is dying of arsenic poisoning.
- Face the issue: Tell her what you know, and how: "I found this bookin your purse. How long has this been going on?" Ask the hard question- Who is this Count Vronsky?
- Show her another way. Move the television set into her room. Introduce her to frat boys.
- Do what you have to do. Tear up her library card. Make her stop signing her letters as 'Emma.' Force her to take a math class, orminor in Spanish. Transfer her to a Florida college. You may be dealing with a life-threatening problem if one or more ofthe following applies:

- She can tell you how and when Thomas Chatterton died.
- She names one or more of her cats after a Romantic poet.
- Next to her bed is a picture of: Lord Byron, Virginia Woolf,Faulkner or any scene from the Lake District.Most important, remember, you are not alone. To seek help for yourself or someone you love, contact the nearest chapter of the American Literature Abuse Society, or look under ALAS in your telephonedirectory.
From JumboJoke.com

2005-08-19T16:14:00.000-05:00

Heroes

I have found mine. OMIG, this chick is funny. Squirting milk out of your nose funny. In my humble opinion.

2005-08-19T09:44:00.000-05:00

Observations This Morning

While filing by the South window, heard man yelling on the street corner that the world needs to be saved by God. Looked out and watched for a few minutes as people walked by, unscathed.

Walking back to workroom, spot man on computer whose shirt is unbuttoned halfway to reveal a nasty scar. Looks like an old knife wound.

Walking by new nonfiction, there is a woman in Sunday best and a white wide brimmed hat. It's nice.

2005-08-19T09:13:00.000-05:00

Good Times Part Deux

2005-08-17T11:42:00.000-05:00

I Kid You Not

So, a guy just walked up and asked if he wanted to start studying the universe and a foundation of knowledge about EVERYTHING, where would he start?

Yes. Really. My co-worker had a genius answer... start with the World Book over there. Genius. I was about to tell him he needed to read every book in the universe.

On another note:
http://www.americanscientist.org/template/AssetDetail/assetid/45938?&print=yes#46167

2005-08-16T16:19:00.000-05:00

Blah

I got really excited today over a new shredder. Our old one for the department mysteriously broke and we haven't had one in like a year. Today, one showed up in the mail. I actually squealed. You'd think it was damn christmas as I tore open the paper and smelled the faint plastic odor wafting from the box. This thing even shreds cds and credit cards. Yeah. Wow. I need to kick my life up a notch.

I'm not sure if this is just me, but I feel like I've been mentally beaten by a smurf with a big stick the past two weeks. Maybe it's the fact that it's a freakin' 89% humidity outside. Oklahoma summer how I hate you.

Parents are actually signing the divorce papers this afternoon.

Thank. God.

2005-08-11T18:33:00.000-05:00

Being Human

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/13.08/urine.html

2005-08-11T18:27:00.000-05:00

Jumbo Straws

Amala and I went to dinner this evening at Panera Bread. We decided to indulge in the I.C. coffee drinks. I always forget that they come with those pastel colored jumbo straws. Seriously, sometimes I think I small child's head could fit through one of those things. Okay, I'm exaggerating. Anyway... at one point through dinner, Amala clutches her chest and screws up her face exclaiming "My gawd, the heart freeze, this f**ing hurts!" Apparently, she had taken in a little too much. Amala has a mild heart condition. Okay, now we sound really old.

So yeah. No more jumbo straws, at least not for Amala. The caffeine didn't help much either. Hehe.

2005-08-09T11:13:00.000-05:00

Good Times aka Blitzed

2005-08-08T15:02:00.000-05:00

Requiring Relief

It's been an eventful weekend of trials and tribulations. But everything worked out in the end. I will say to guys though: Girls do have sensitive subjects. We don't rag on people, at least not to their faces. If you begin to see a girl even look MILDLY uncomfortable, just drop it... or else you might or will get bitch slapped. It really doesn't take much to drop a topic and move on to the next. You'll both be glad you did. I realize there is a fine line in teasing and like back in the school yard many hay days ago when you used to make the girls cry in the play ground... that really hasn't changed.

That said, I will move on. My parents are currently in trial and I feel like I'm about to throw up. But, it may actually end today, after 3.5. freakin'. years. Wow. I'll know by five. Last night my mom broke out the baby pictures for M to see and I got really sad. My parents looked so young and happy holding this bouncy baby girl. Who can even begin to fathom what their lives hold at that stage. We, the people, in our twenties hold such hubris and relative carelessness about the life ahead. It's being young and unafraid. I sometimes fear getting boring.

I guess we all need to get our world shaken up and sometimes it definitely feels like that. I'm not sure if it's the planets or being halfway through 26 and taking the time really reevaluate what I want out of life. Who really knows. But I will say that for a a few brief moments out of my life, I have felt the bottom drop but still managed to climb up the edge. It's relief when you do.

I've been taking random pictures lately. Some from the car, some just walking in the street. The sun was out the other day and the clouds were moving around it in a whirlpool fashion. It was breathtaking.

My best friend is turning 26 tomorrow and she's leaving for Stanford in a month. I'm sad and so damn proud of her at the same time. This is a girl who has never put herself before anyone and she truly deserves this opportunity. This is the girl who has the heart of a lion and the soul of an angel. Cheers to you Marie and the big bright messy future ahead. It's all worth it.

On a competely different note, I've ben skimming other people's blogs lately. I'm not sure why. I think mainly to get an idea of people's writing styles. I've read some incredible things and sometimes I'm discouraged and think I should pack this thing up. Sometimes I feel like I'm not disaffected enough or erudite to be publishing for all too see. Then I think, who the hell cares. Ah.

2005-08-06T13:12:00.000-05:00

Enlightened - Shall we?

http://www.common-place.org/vol-05/no-04/mcdaniel/index.shtml

2005-08-04T14:01:00.000-05:00

Gee

Things are better today and gosh darn, it's nice to be loved with relatively little excruciating effort to make it work on either side. You know when something just is. Happy. Like blowing bubbles happy.

2005-08-03T14:20:00.000-05:00

Frustration

Ever just had one of those days where you know that things are okay in the realm of food shelters... mazlow's hierarchy... blah blah. But you're still generally feeling crapped on. That's been my week. Or as my good friend Christina put it in one of her posts:
Do you ever sit and think you're just not living the life you want to? Yeah. Me, too."

Just when I think my blood pressure can't get any higher... ah yes... there's always family to step in and take care of that.

So, my parents have been in the world's longest drawn out divorce process for 4 years this coming January. Yeah, pretty unfreakin' believable. I've managed to pretty much disengage myself until 15 minutes ago. My mom calls to tell me that they are officially going to go to trial next week and there's going to be expert witness testimony. Jesus. I knew it was bad. Anyway, for those of that don't know me, I'm an only child. I get it all. I'm not sure what happened to my mother between my becoming an adult and now. It's like she got helpless and has completely forgotten how to do stuff and maybe doesn't want to. M and I have talked about this. His mother has gone into a kind of reversal mode. It's like they've figured out that they've raised competent adults and are ready to be taken care of and have the decisions made.

Ugh. My shoulders are so tight, it's crawling up my neck.

Oi.

2005-08-02T08:03:00.000-05:00

Lazy

Every Monday night from now on I am on a quest for enlightenment through meditative stretching. Supposedly.

In the mornings I like to eat yogurt. Gets my day going to a good start. Supposedly. I eat yogurt with a fork. I've been doing this for about 3 months now because I'm too lazy to go down to the staff lounge and bring up extra spoons to our department. WTF.

Today I just realized that no one has EVER pointed this out to me.

2005-07-26T11:44:00.000-05:00

HP

Read Harry Potter this weekend. Man, sad stuff, but what a great stage for the last book. Did more back breaking yoga. we're practicing headstands. awesome.

2005-07-19T20:40:00.000-05:00

That's Om to you.

Amala and I in our never ending quest for self enlightenment, better abs, and hot bee-otch status have decided to take up yoga. I'll let you spew the liquid you've been drinking out your nose first.

Okay, so we realized it's been too damn hot for jogging and instead of the "I'm getting tall growth spurt" it's the "Hey, I'm getting kinda wide and I need to lay off the egg noodles." We decided to take things into our own hands and start doing yoga at the slightly pretentious looking Yoga Room on Peoria. We both bought mats this weekend on sale at Ulta. Amala calls me Saturday night and sheepishly asks me if my mat seems a little a long, like the thing just kept unfurling. Yes, I say what's wrong with that. Nuthin.' Does yours have the mandalas as well? Yeah, what about it? Just makin' sure. So there we were. Then I admitted to being suckered into buying a pilates rubber band. I kid you not. This is a giant body sized rubber band. On a side note, the same company that makes these bands also makes this.

Anyway, I thought I could supplement the yoga and the jogging. I have since discovered that if nothing else, this could make a really cool HUGE sling shot with my cat in it or I could bind somebody in it if I needed to hold someone hostage. I digress.

So Sunday I get up early and decide to tackle the giant rubber band. I proudly put my pilates audio cd on and quickly turn it off 25 seconds into the first track. First the yogi woman was going too fast and two I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. So, I took out the picture poses and started contorting myself into some pretty self embarrassing positions. Lord. Tulip, my bitchy cat, was getting great amusement out of this. At one point, during a bicep curl, the damn band snapped and hit me in the face, then Tulip pounces out to get it, and I fall over.

After 30 minutes of torture, I crawled to the couch and stayed there. That was Sunday.

Monday. Amala and I sneak out of work 15 minutes early to go to our first yoga class entitled "Gentle Flow 1." We're thinking this will be a light 30 minute class of cross legged meditation. First, we pull up, get out, get our mats, and start walking to the door. We realize no one else is carrying mats. We turn around and put our mats back in the car. Go in and climb 4 flights of stairs to the yoga room. We sign up and enter the room where there are mats set up and a surprising number of very limber men. Amala and I stake out a place in the back and start trying to stretch in way that might look like we know what we're doing. In a matter of 5 minutes the place is packed and there is another nubile looking man in tiny black shorts at the front of the room.

This was no gentle flow. This was an hour and half of freaking yoga boot camp. First he had us start with downward facing dogs, where your body is completely off the floor, back is arched, and hands and feet are barely touching the floor, ie. hunched up scaredy cat. Yeah you know that image. Then he has us HOP from toes curled in to toes out while in this position into a weird mock push up position. It was here I realized how bad my carpal tunnel really is. This was just the warm up, there was lots of back arching and balancing that gave me a whole new respect for yoga and yes... f***ing handstands.

We're pumped and coming back next week.
Om, baby.

2005-07-14T11:01:00.000-05:00

SO EXCITED!!!

Oh how I love Tulsa's AMC theatre. Yup, Mad Hot Ballroom is here! I heart ballroom dancing. Man. (Grin)

2005-07-13T12:45:00.000-05:00

Accidentally in Love

I'm at work right now and doing the usual while listening to internet radio. What did people do before internet radio or the internet?? There were probably less cubicle jobs maybe? Summer is feeling like it's coming to a fast end though we're only in the middle. When your weeks seem stacked and planned for a year, is it time to regroup... do a retrospective? I'm not sure. When I think where I was last July compared to this July... wow, I think I stepped through the looking glass and haven't really looked back.

Since then, friends have given birth, people have moved, had individual life changing experiences, left the country, fallen in love you name it and it's happened.

Amala and I went walking Monday night, came back and started watching this documentary on a tribe in Papua New Guinea. Talk about a different world. Sometimes the concept of this planet and how huge it is can be hard to grasp. I guess it's easy to box ourselves into our tiny lives and wallow in it while bombs are dropping and shuttles are about to take off.

This is probably an incoherent ramble, but we originally started this blog for ourselves not for entertainment value.

There's a barber at 5th and Lewis who cuts children's hair for free in the Kendall Whittier district. She goes to the school every Monday and basically pulls the kids in the hall and gives them haircuts. If she runs out of time she encourages them to come by later in the week and she'll do it for free. It started several years ago when her daughter came home from school crying because her friend's father had shaved her friend's head. The girl had lice and the father was at a loss at what to do about it.

Cue: Back to work.

My point: Think beyond your existence and love a little bit of life.

2005-07-05T17:18:00.000-05:00

Job Posting

So I received this job posting in my email. I am greatly amused. Take note of the mathematical and physical demands.
Specific. Very.

KNOWLEDGE, SKILLS AND ABILITIES:
Qualification Requirements: To perform this job successfully, an individual must be able to perform each essential duty satisfactorily. The requirements listed below are representative of the knowledge, skill, and/or ability required. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions.
Education: M.L.S. or equivalent degree from an A.L.A. accredited institution; or M.A. in the humanities with a concentration in Asian American Studies.
Experience/Knowledge: Japanese and English speaking, reading and writing skills. At least one year experience in library setting. Thorough knowledge of library and archival reference and access philosophy and practices. General knowledge of Japanese American history. Demonstrated knowledge of research and reference techniques as they apply to diverse users in a public institution and the ability to apply them effectively to meet the information needs of patrons. Willingness to learn and apply new skills. Ability to multi-task and prioritize. Ability to work well under pressure to meet deadlines. Excellent organizational skills and be detail oriented. Strong proofreading skills. Professional phone manner is essential. Ability to work in a fast paced team-environment, be a self-starter. Demonstrate commitment and flexibility at all times in order to ensure high quality service.
Communication Skills: Strong interest and ability in working with the public: Excellent interpersonal skills. Excellent communication and negotiation skills. Must be able to provide courteous and effective service to co-workers, volunteers and the general public. Ability to read and comprehend documents such as safety rules, operating and maintenance instructions, and procedure manuals. Ability to write routine reports and correspondence. Ability to effectively present information in one-on-one and small group format.
Computer Skills: Computer literate, Internet savvy, and experience with MS Word, Excel, and Power Point preferred, speed and accuracy are essential.
Mathematical Skills: Ability to calculate figures and amounts such as discounts, interest, proportions, percentages, area, circumference, and volume. Ability to apply concepts of basic algebra and geometry.
Reasoning Ability: Act on own initiative. Must be able to comply with institutional policies and procedures. Ability to apply common sense understanding to carry out instructions furnished in written, oral, or diagram form. Perform successfully when juggling and re-prioritizing multiple assignments in a fast-paced, changing work environment. Reliable follow-through on assigned projects in a complete, well conceived and timely manner.
REPORTING RELATIONSHIPS:
Reports to: Director, Collections Management and AccessPositions supervised: none
PHYSICAL DEMANDS:The physical demands described here are representative of those that must be met by an employee to successfully perform the essential functions of this job. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions. While performing the duties of this job, the employee is regularly required to use hands to finger, handle, or feel objects, tools, or controls. The employee frequently is required to talk or hear. The employee is occasionally required to stand, walk, sit, reach with hands and arms, climb or balance, and stoop, kneel, crouch, or crawl. The employee must occasionally lift and/or move up to 20 pounds. Specific vision abilities required by this job include close vision, distance vision, and the ability to adjust focus.
WORK ENVIRONMENT:The work environment characteristics described here are representative of those the employee encounters while performing the essential functions of this job. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions. The noise level in the work environment is usually moderate.
The Japanese American National Museum reserves the discretion to change this job description at any time.The Japanese American National Museum is an Equal Opportunity Employer. All qualified applicants will receive consideration for employment without regard to their race, religion, ancestry, national origin, sex, sexual orientation, age, disability, marital status, domestic partner status, or medical condition.

2005-07-01T10:05:00.000-05:00

Raining

It's raining and Oklahoma has that sky that one only really knows until they've lived here.

I bring fresh showers for the thirsting flowers,
From the seas and the streams;
I bear light shade for the leaves when laid
In their noonday dreams.
From my wings are shaken the dews that waken
The sweet buds every one,
When rocked to rest on their mother's breast,
As she dances about the sun.
I wield the flail of the lashing hail,
And whiten the green plains under,
And then again I dissolve it in rain,
And laugh as I pass in thunder.
Percy Bysshe Shelley, The Cloud

2005-06-29T16:41:00.000-05:00

Sartre

Prophet Or Poseur? Jean-Paul Sartre on...
SOCIETY: 'People who live in society have learnt to see themselves in mirrors as they appear to their friends. Is that why my flesh is naked? You might say - yes you might say, nature without humanity... Things are bad! Things are very bad: I have it, the filth, the Nausea'
EXISTENCE: 'The thing which was waiting was on alert, it pounced on me, it flows through me. I'm filled with it. It's nothing: I am the Thing. Existence, liberated, detached, floods over me. I exist'
THINKING: 'It would be better if I could only stop thinking. Thoughts are the dullest things. Duller than flesh'
GOD: 'I do not believe in God... But in the internment camp, I learnt to believe in men'
CRITICS: 'Critics are people who have had no luck in life, and at the point of despair, found a little quiet job as the caretaker of a cemetery...'
POMPIDOU'S DEATH: 'Pompidou was no one. A man is dead and many other people died that day, people who fell from roofs or into a machine. It is not more important than that...'
FREEDOM: 'Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does'
HELL: 'Hell is other people'
REVOLUTION: 'At the beginning of any revolt, you have to kill people. Murdering a European (for an Algerian) is killing two birds with one stone. He is getting rid of an oppressor and someone who was oppressed'

from:
http://enjoyment.independent.co.uk/books/features/article226073.ece

2005-06-29T13:06:00.000-05:00

Something not complicated

I miss childhood from time to time, before the age of 12.

This picture is from our roadtrip. It's beautiful, n'est pas? C'est les Grande Tetons.

2005-06-27T17:39:00.000-05:00

Blue Bell's Taste of Summer

So we went to the ALL YOU CAN EAT ice cream festival on Sat sponsored by Blue Bell Creameries. It was awesome. For $4 each, we ate 10 cones between us. God, I love the Midwest.

2005-06-24T17:26:00.000-05:00

AWW

Man I'm a sucker. I actually kind of teared up reading this review.
http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/review/2005/06/24/penguins/index.html

2005-06-24T10:03:00.000-05:00

Note to Self

Driving to work about 15 minutes ago, saw man playing flute on street in front of courthouse building. He was standing, I squinted in the sun to do a double take. Flute playing people in the streets of Tulsa = angels.

Buffy the Backside Slayer

A friend brought me back some soap from the Lush store in Prague called Buffy the backside slayer. I must say it is quite effective in it's sloughing qualities. He also brought me back a book on the history of cod stamped with the special Shakespeare and Company stamp from London. I heart Shakespeare and Company. Don't you love those moments when you realize that yes, your friends do indeed get you.

Tonight and Tomorrow

... is the last night of the Prufrock Challenge sponsored by TAC.

2005-06-21T19:29:00.000-05:00

Summer Gelato

Yeah baby, it's summer and you know what that means... f***ing gelato from Merritt's Bakery. Yay! Amala and I went to dinner this evening and caught up on our roadtrips that we took last week separately. We practically passed each other in Wyoming. I flew out to Seattle to drive back to Tulsa, she left from Tulsa to go to Montana for a weddin.' We caught up today and it was awesome. Girl time is such a marvelous thing esp after hanging out with boys for a week. They make fun of our food choices and call us pandas but at the end of the day, they loves it.

The trips were amazing and we both agreed that this country is a freaking huge place. There really is something to be said about a wide open Montana sky. The mountains were gorgeous. I don't think I blinked for three days just so I could take it all in. Amarillo, on the other hand, is so freaking flat, I swear I could see the curvature of the earth.

Another phase of life is about to begin and I'm not a bit worried about it. I'm just along for the beautiful ride.

2005-06-02T10:47:00.000-05:00

TV Does Rot the Brain

This is the last time I ever take some time for myself and watch tv. I should’ve known better. After working 7 straight hours on the desk yesterday my brain was fried. By the time I got home, I had been reduced to painfully slow movements that consisted of getting up to go to the bathroom and bumbling about the kitchen for dinner. I was even too tired to read, so I turned on the cable. The next 3 hours of my life, I will never get back. I watched the following:

Selling Innocence – Lifetime network- I should’ve stopped there, but watching anything on lifetime is like watching a car wreck. It’s ghastly but you can’t help but stare. Last night’s movie o’ the week focused on teen girl sexploitation on the internet. Its point by the end was so mangled and ridiculous, that I don’t think I moved for 10 minutes after the credits rolled.
Watched some show on MTV about kids in fat camp. This was actually kinda interesting. However, at one point there was this one girl that had lost 15 pounds and looked really really good at her current weight. When she came back from camp, she went to show her “crush” how good she looked. Her “crush” was this skinny prick of a guy who was washing a car when she walked up to him. He told her to lose 15 more pounds and she would look good. ARRRGH. There should be a law against boys btw the ages of 13-25 and saying stupid things to girls.
In a last ditch effort, I channel surfed and came upon Howard Stern on E! He was having a “beauty pageant” for blind women. No comments.

So I’m going to go back to having a life. TV for me these days just makes me depressed with the exception of one show and PBS.

2005-05-31T20:42:00.000-05:00

Posting

So I haven't posted in days mostly because it's starting to feel like a chore. I'm thinking in the next few months I might put this thing to rest, who knows. It's only a ponderance and I doubt anyone really cares. I've been pondering the fact of blogs lately and I why we all feel this need to publicly display our thoughts. It's such a strangely passive way of saying what you want or is it? I know that I'm consistently fascinated with reading other's blogs whether sacred, profane, or better yet mundane. It's like this little extra key to a smaller door within someone if you know them. If you don't know them, it's a key to a new world... an entirely new existence outside of your own realm.

I know that when A. and I started this thing, it was a way to vent our frustrations and it was generally fun. It was taking an illicit bite out of mom's homemade cake. I guess I bring this up because I was reading an article today about this site at http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ and people send in their secrets or confessions on postcards. Wow. Now I'm addicted. I guess I've answered my own question on why I find blogs intriguing as well. Some inner voyeur thing. Who knows?

On another random note, I was driving down the street the other day and I started thinking about the last long roadtrip that I took. It was to see M. and J. and I drove up to see her. It's funny because I hardly ever think about it but when I do it all comes rushing back. The driving in the impossible rain through St. Louis, drinking with C. and her friends and the day I got my tattoo. Finally seeing M. She would go to work during the day and J. and I would sit around reading Preacher and watching Vh-1. It was awesome. Here's to you J. and whatever the hell you're doing these days. Those were good times.

2005-05-17T15:12:00.000-05:00

Movement

What happens when you start feel yourself move? Actually move. Sometimes I feel like my brain and limbs have been frozen my entire life and sometimes they force themselves out of the freeze frame until I start with a slow walk only to break into a run for freedom. The match has been lit and I can see, not too far but enough to have a direction.

Sadness is a beautiful and terrible thing.

2005-05-13T11:14:00.000-05:00

Project Misdemeanant

That's what the big yellow sign by a janitor's closet by the police station as I was walking into work this morning. I had to look twice.

Oh, it's Fri 13th.

2005-05-12T15:59:00.000-05:00

Sheesh... Do Not Use to Call Home

We just got about 50 calls from kids playing on the red phone at one the local libraries. I'm about to ring someone's neck. Seriously. There's a storm moving in. Yes sirree. I feel it.
Just leave a message.

2005-05-09T10:41:00.000-05:00

Healing

I love Salon's Cary Tennis. He hits on the nail every time.

“What happens over time is you begin to love yourself. Not completely and not all at once, but over time. Over time, you get better. Maybe your brain changes. Or maybe angels descend. That is an epistemological problem, or perhaps a problem of nomenclature. What is an angel and what is a brain?
But, anyway, you get better. You meet frequently with this new family of yours. Perhaps eventually you tell everything, you show your cuts, you describe the thing that drives you and people nod as though they too had this thing that drives them. You begin to feel that you're all being driven together.
So you get better is what I'm saying. And then, as a way of paying back, you help out around the house. You help untie the inmates and tend to the wounded. You put the opera on hold and make do with what you've got.
But again this is a thing that happens over time. You have to trust it and you have to begin.”
Cary Tennis

2005-05-09T09:35:00.000-05:00

Another Milestone

I graduate tomorrow. It'll be my third graduation since high school. I'm not sure if this will be the last one, but damn it feels good to be done again. I was watching Grey's Anatomy last night (which is a kick ass show), and at the end one of the interns says, "We hammer ourselves to death, because it feels good to stop in the end" or something like that. I guess that's why we complete any milestone in life, whether it be physical or mental. Some climb mountains, some get degrees, some get both and that's something to be proud of. It feels good to lay your head on the damn pillow at the end of the day because you know you've earned it and the feeling of sweet unfettered relief beats no other.

2005-05-06T17:24:00.000-05:00

Absurdity

Received following from a friend today. I find this incredibly amusing and absolutely horrifying. Just sayin.' :

D~

You may already have heard about this new fad, but if not I knew you would appreciate the ridiculousness of it ….
Apparently it’s not enough to have the implants, whitened teeth, fake tans, etc. now you must have a sparkling white anus! The newest fad is anal bleaching…

I’m not really sure who sat around wondering if their ass was white enough, but someone did and apparently when they found it wasn’t they decided to go into business, it’s more of a public service really… saving us from viewing those horribly unwhitened bungholes!

Oh my.

S

2005-05-05T17:22:00.000-05:00

Hmm... Yes

Caller: Do you know where Skyline Barber Shop is?
D: No, but I can look it up.
Caller: Isn't it you people's job to know everything?

We get this more than you could ever guess. My gut reaction is sometimes to say "Why yes, not so kind sir, (Translate: asshole) - they grow us in library cabbage patch farms where once picked we can answer the ultimate question to the universe as well." Oh did I forget to mention that they always remind us that they pay our salaries.

2005-05-05T15:55:00.000-05:00

May 5 or 5/05/05

For some reason this has always been a significant date in my life. I have graduated twice on this date, gained and lost love, went to proms, and started new beginnings in my life. Every year when May 5 comes around, I am consistently forced to take stock of life. I can usually recall the past 10 May 5ths with unusual clarity. I guess you could say its my personal new year. This May 5th, I am tired, actually dragging to date. I feel like I’ve been running frantically the past 5 months and it’s all about to come to a lovely slow molasses drawl where I can savor each taste of it. Life is life, it continues. I look forward to the next May 5th with anticipation. It makes sense that this particular 5/5/5 is kind of slow and steady. Really okay actually. It’s the kind of day where I would be content to crawl around in the dirt and remember the muck along with the good.

2005-05-04T03:23:00.000-05:00

Crazy Eyes

So Amala pssts at me as I'm coming back from the bathroom at work. She was on the Research Center desk, so all the patrons were around and everyone always has their ears open for the librarians crazy antics. Anyway our conversation was as follows:

A: Hey, come over here.
D: K'
A: Remember when I told that you can tell people are crazy when you can see all around their eyes.
D: (raised eyebrow)
A: Here. I was right wasn't I.
D: Yes.

Yep. Really loudly. And we snickered away. Heehee.

2005-05-03T22:03:00.000-05:00

Things I wish I could Say to My Family or What I actually did say tonight

Why?
Next week will be my day, can't we all just along, even WHOLE countries have been known to call a truce.
I am tired to the point of exhaustion. I can't even see straight and I have to deal with your narcissistic crap.
I quit, I didn't sign up for this.

Ugh. Families. It's so true, that most wouldn't choose their own blood in the great cosmic universe of the human lottery. I probably am being terribly ungrateful in some Karmic aspect. But really? No. I have scraped by the last two years. Put myself through a Masters program and worked full time without any family help. I jus want them to be at my graduation with no scrapes. That's all. I haven't seen my grandmother in 3 years, she's flying in tomorrow and has already made all of this completely about her. Alas, I'm venting and will probably take this off tomorrow.
Sheesh. Tired. Can't see straight.

2005-04-29T02:17:00.000-05:00

It's Just not Fair or Perspective

My friend Bry's sister just lost her fiancee this week. Bry and his sister just lost their father not even a month ago. Her fiancee was an Israeli and was killed doing some reserve work. I am at a loss for words. Suzi (bry's sister) was a peace corps volunteer in Thailand the past year and a half. She had just left last week to go pick her stuff up in Thailand and come back here to Tulsa for the rest of the year to be with her grieving mother. She's now in Israel to grieve over her beloved.

Damn it. Why? Why? Why? Why?

2005-04-28T21:43:00.000-05:00

Dinner

Amala and I went to PF Chang's on a prolonged dinner break. It was fanfuckingtabulous. We had the crab wontons and the Shanghai dumplings for apps (which apparently came from the streets of Shanghai itself). Uh huh. I had some shrimp concoction and Amala got the tofu. It was all good. We talked, it was good. Friends are great, I'm not sure what I'd without them. I'd probably lead a lonely existence that would consist of takeout every night and old Cary Grant movies. Cary Grant so kicks ass.

I'm in the hotline tonight and have been doing absolutely mind numbing things, like this:
http://www.blogthings.com/.

I'm disgustingly fascinated and only mildly horrified that I've spent a precious 30minutes taking some of these quizzes. I was glad to know that I'm only "a little scary" on the how scary are you quiz.

Amala is on the otherside of the turnstile right now reading entire lines from US Weekly. Yes we have a secret penchant for reading total trash. Love it.

Definitions I've pondered lately:

label -
Main Entry: 1la·bel Pronunciation: 'lA-b&lFunction: nounEtymology: Middle English, from Middle French1 archaic : BAND, FILLET; specifically : one attached to a document to hold an appended seal2 : a heraldic charge that consists of a narrow horizontal band with usually three pendants3 a : a slip (as of paper or cloth) inscribed and affixed to something for identification or description b : written or printed matter accompanying an article to furnish identification or other information c : a descriptive or identifying word or phrase: as (1) : EPITHET (2) : a word or phrase used with a dictionary definition to provide additional information d : a usually radioactive isotope used in labeling

love -
Main Entry: 1love Pronunciation: 'l&vFunction: nounEtymology: Middle English, from Old English lufu; akin to Old High German luba love, Old English lEof dear, Latin lubEre, libEre to please1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests b : an assurance of love 2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion 3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration b (1) : a beloved person : DARLING -- often used as a term of endearment (2) British -- used as an informal term of address4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b : a person's adoration of God5 : a god or personification of love6 : an amorous episode : LOVE AFFAIR7 : the sexual embrace : COPULATION8 : a score of zero (as in tennis)9 capitalized, Christian Science : GOD- at love : holding one's opponent scoreless in tennis- in love : inspired by affection

wonderful- Main Entry: won·der·ful Pronunciation: 'w&n-d&r-f&lFunction: adjective1 : exciting wonder : MARVELOUS, ASTONISHING 2 : unusually good : ADMIRABLE- won·der·ful·ly /-f(&-)lE/ adverb- won·der·ful·ness /-f&l-n&s/ noun
*Merriam Webster's Online

2005-04-26T17:09:00.000-05:00

I Heart Libraries

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,1068-1407490,00.html

2005-04-25T13:08:00.000-05:00

Really?

Ever feel like your life is completely absurd and you could just say "I officially quit everything." It's days like this weekend I want to stuff all my money into a mattress and lead a Howard Hughes existence. Putting aside the fact that this weekend was a full moon, I started my Sat out running through the driveway of Atomic Burrito on 15th st. My total was approx. $3.85. I did not have cash so I handed over my debit card. I noticed things were taking kind of a long time and the people working the drive thru seemed a little preoccupied. But I shortly got my food and my receipt for $3.85. Later that night I was supposed to meet some friends for drinks, so I went to the ATM to get cash. The ATM machine proceeds to ask me if I would care to check my balance because it sure as hell isn't going to give me the cash I requested. So, I get my balance and it reads approx. -$123.80. OMIG.

At this point I'm convinced that I really am crazy and start to panic. Many people that know me know that I am ULTRA maniacal about money and bills and I don't let stuff like this just slip. So, I frantically call M. the next morning so I can use her internet access. Yes. I am so cheap that I don't have internet access at home. I am a public servant. I go to M.'s and lo and behold, Atomic Burrito has not only taken their $3.85, but they also decided to withdraw $189.99 on top of that. I call my bank and they're like well we have to technically wait until it posts, we suggest you go to Atomic and make them aware of the sitch. Marie and I head to A.B. like gangbusters and here is the part the is unbelievable. The parking lot is empty and newspapers are covering every scrap of window and doors. The owners had been shadow bought that night by someone else and decided to skip freaking town! As of this morning, the corporate offices in Oklahoma had been disconnected. Un-freakin-believable. As of right now, my hands are tied behind me back, and we have to wait until the stupid amt posts. AAAAARGH!

Ridiculous.

On a totally random note, some person suspiciously resembling Pat from SNL just came up asking for the "Karma" Sutra. Takes it brings it a back and states that its girlfriend is sick. Please, I really don't need to know this.

I quit.

2005-04-19T02:25:00.000-05:00

Dragging Like Molasses

Ugh. What a freakin' week. I worked all weekend and was supposed to work these consuecutive 5 days in row, which would have made for 7 straight days of working plus finishing up all the major crap. It's been a marathon few days. I finished one paper up Sat night only to find out the 15 pager that I thought was due to 25th was actually due this wed, tomorrow. After the initial freak out, I pulled myself together and trudged on because that's what I do. I swear, the past few weeks have been a series of close calls. In a rush of desperation, I realized that I needed to be "sick" yesterday so that I could this stupid paper done, which ironically enough is an analysis of information overload. Don't think for a moment that I did briefly ponder using myself as a case study. Alas, I got the bulk of it written and am up to 16 pages and only have the conclusion left. This will be my last official paper of library school!!! I'm too tired to be that excited though at this point. I picked up my cap and gown yesterday, went home tried it on, and smiled big for a few moments. In a few weeks it'll all be over. There's that one class I have to take this summer to finish up my hours, but compared to the feats I've performed this semester, it'll be nuthin.'

I find myself looking ahead so that I can get through the day. I leave back to Seattle in June to embark on a much awaited road trip back to Tulsa with my Seattle sweetheart who will be home for good. It'll be nice to not conduct everything at a distance anymore. I sometimes have been saddened lately when I think of all my friends that are living far away right now, on both coasts.

I'm slightly cranky today and wish I could take the rest of the week off and cook and lay amongst the azaleas at woodward park. God, Tulsa is gorgeous in the Spring time. It really is. I'm looking forward to the next spring when I'm not in school and can really take the time to enjoy it. Of course, I have planted Impatiens in my flower pots this Spring and they're mighty pretty to look at when I open up my doors and just let that lazy breeze come in.

Back to work and to finishing that damn conclusion. Oi.

2005-04-07T18:35:00.002-05:00

The Day in Pictures

I frequently visit BBC's news day in pictures page. When I get really tired or exhausted, it gives me perspective and I get to step outside of myself for a moment. I can see a Costan Rican Sunset or a field flowers all in one sitting. I can get outside of my brain and remember why I'm sitting here right now. Do you ever just want to buy a plane ticket and leave right now and not look back?

I need a change of scenery.

2005-04-07T18:35:00.000-05:00

2005-04-06T16:13:00.000-05:00

Oh, Yeah

I passed comps. Life is great.

2005-04-05T14:32:00.000-05:00

Spring and the Claritin Diaries

For the first time in my life I have officially been hit with Spring allergies and man does it suck. All the people that I have known for years that suffer from this plight, I finally share your pain, even though I wanted no part of it. However, thanks to Claritin-D, which is now over the counter, my life is a lot better today than it was yesterday. At one point yesterday, my left eye was watering so badly, I was relegated to my glasses. My nose was completely red from bad kleenex. You know the ones I'm talking about, the cheap rough kind. There's no dignity in that, kind of like one-ply toilet paper. If I ever get that cheap, someone has a license to whap me upside the head. I bestow this honor onto Amala and Marie.

The whole process of getting Claritin-D is interesting. You have to go to the paharmacist and ask for it, at which point they ask for your drivers' license... what next my first born child? Then, I had to sign a release form, for 10 freaking tablets of the stuff. Anyway, I'm ranting now, but the state I was in yesterday, it was clear I had no intention of cooking the stuff in the back of van. I think the woman felt sorry for me as I went back to get the good Puffs with aloe, came back ripped it open and proceeded to blow my nose in front of her. Yeah, gross. I also woke myself last night from the snoring that apparently goes with allergies.

This weekend was in a two words... strangely cathartic. I went to Bry's dad's funeral at which he gave a f**ing amazing eulogy. Really, hats off to you Bry. We went back to his mom's house, and all these friends that I had not literally seen since TU days had flown in from all over the country to be here. There we all were, laughing, crying, reminiscing, being there for a guy that most of us had met through him. He makes sure to keep in touch with every one of us. He's the guy that calls every few weeks to make sure we're all okay and will say something wise and profound from the Tao. He sends handwritten letters to most of us with drawings. He has an awesome website at www.aliaspail.com. He once told me he reads the Tao every year, because it's like a carwash for the soul. Damn. I admire that. I gave him a copy of the Little Prince this weekend. I couldn't believe he'd never read it.

This weekend was quite liberating in many ways. I was able to revisit my past and not flinch. It provided even more incentive to really start living if that makes sense. I'm so excited about today, tomorrow, the next day, and on. It's awesome. Things are good. I also had a great conversation last night with the new person in my life that makes me feel completely myself and who brings out my best sides. He is truly something wonderful =)

And Christina, People's History does absolutely blow your hair back. What a great way to put it. I just finished the "Society of Others" by William Nicholson, that you might like. I realize I could just post this in your comments, but alas I'm really lazy today.